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Wednesday, February 28, 2007
8:57 PM

this post marks the end of the second month of 2007.
woke up this morning to realise its 28thfeb, and its like soooo fast. another step nearer, yet i sense and see fear. zai4 mian4 dui4 jie1 xia4 lai2 de4 wo3 men2, wo2 fang3 fu2 kan4 jian4 hai4 pa4, you2, yu4... ... literally we are nearer, but in terms of present situation, we seemed to have gone further frm that common belief and goal we used to have. used to. and what now? though we very much wanted t help y'all, it din work. we all know tt, but none of us made any moves. nothing indicates to me tt we are pushing forward, striving hard. practically nothing. all i see is the lack of confidence to face the challenge. tt includes myself. many "what if"s in my head, many doubts and manymany worries. it wasnt supposed to be like tt. someone tell me how to get rid of stage fright. this is the only way to save me, the horns, the band.
"i dun want to pressurise the horns" i can still rmb clearly how she said it. i know the band dun pressurise us, but i know you have high expectations of us. its like the band is depending on us for a good opening, a good choice piece, a good gold w/ honours. i dun want to disappoint anyone, to dash all your hopes, but i dunno how not to. sometimes i wonder, was it wise in the first place to take up band. if i hadnt join band, i wun have shed so much tears. im sure i wouldnt.
----
" shui neng gao su wo na li you chu kou,
neng rang wo tao chu zhe ge wo kuai chen mo de xuan wo...."

stayingstrong(=