8:57 PM
this post marks the end of the second month of 2007.
woke up this morning to realise its 28thfeb, and its like soooo fast. another step nearer, yet i sense and see fear. zai4 mian4 dui4 jie1 xia4 lai2 de4 wo3 men2, wo2 fang3 fu2 kan4 jian4 hai4 pa4, you2, yu4... ... literally we are nearer, but in terms of present situation, we seemed to have gone further frm that common belief and goal we used to have. used to. and what now? though we very much wanted t help y'all, it din work. we all know tt, but none of us made any moves. nothing indicates to me tt we are pushing forward, striving hard. practically nothing. all i see is the lack of confidence to face the challenge. tt includes myself. many "what if"s in my head, many doubts and manymany worries. it wasnt supposed to be like tt. someone tell me how to get rid of stage fright. this is the only way to save me, the horns, the band.
"i dun want to pressurise the horns" i can still rmb clearly how she said it. i know the band dun pressurise us, but i know you have high expectations of us. its like the band is depending on us for a good opening, a good choice piece, a good gold w/ honours. i dun want to disappoint anyone, to dash all your hopes, but i dunno how not to. sometimes i wonder, was it wise in the first place to take up band. if i hadnt join band, i wun have shed so much tears. im sure i wouldnt.
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" shui neng gao su wo na li you chu kou,
neng rang wo tao chu zhe ge wo kuai chen mo de xuan wo...."
9:42 AM
QUINTESSENCE07<33
wj, yuen. cgssb's "bigshots"((=
[from clockwise] me, tie, jan, lw, heng. ..always rmb, you.can.fly..
frenchhorno7<33
sec4.cgssb-itso4o7(((((=----------------
wemakeourmusic.
10:00 AM
happynewyear(((=
love newyear. limmies' gathering was damn high and happening, yayness.
spent 3 1/2 days very wisely in msia. very happy. though preparing for newyear was quite tiring, but we had loads of funnn. had steamboat at 12midnight on newyear's eve(which is the morning of newyear's day=P) till around 3am. food was nice and conversations were really stupidd. its always nice talking and fooling ard with them<33 size="2">esp, ahma's yoyoyo=PP
a lot of "bai4 nian2"s to do on sun. all of us skipped lunch cos we ate a lot while visiting pple. and we actually wiped out the whole container of "bahgua" + 3big packets of seaweed in like half an hour?!?! haha. crazy pple. oh well, was quite hilarious when we started talking abt weddings and stuffs. a lot of inside jokes plus a lot of jokers=PP then played poker frm 10plus till ard 4am. sleepy but were laughing at our little cousins/nephew playing, so yarh((=
monday was a bit slack. spent the afternn studying for ct[ oh my tian, first time in my entire life] while gor went for driving "lessons". then came anticlimax. thanks arh yuen, wad a message. tt msg kinda made me damn emotional, so shant elaborate. nevertheless, xiexie ni, yuanjiayi((=
made our way back on tues morn and felt really sleepy. wanted to study geog, but totally dozed off. bleahxx. went to bp at night and talked a lot with besties. esp, secondarysch days. i realised my cousins had such "glorious" days. damn hilarious, sent us all laughing like madd.
so there, 1/4 of my newyear gone and i really need to prepare for ct. feel so unprepared and unplanned this time round. most prob cos of newyear. haiyah. and mrslee had to come in during cme today to talk to us abt L1R5 and JCs and Olevel. wad a way to start the "new"year=\
11:59 AM
many thanks to many darlings for many reminders. namely the ah-mas in band, really naggy huh. oh well, thankew. i've alr made my decision, and i suppose its one tt everyone will feel happy/relieved... ...
beginning to love sunrise now, very gentle, very calm, very nice. and reviewed dpd b4 band started. heard a lot of things i din want to hear, but still, a good attempt nevertheless((=
<333
10:43 AM
decisionmaking week. deciding how to go abt studying for ct, deciding wad to wear during newyear, deciding whether to give it up or not... ...
"playing in the band is a big no no. you have to sit for long hours, applying pressure on your tailbone. tt explains why until now, after 3years, your fracture hasnt heal." apparently he said tt when i went for "follow-up" this morn. he was talking abt sitting up straight, heavy instruments, pressure. like du-uh, obviously i know tt i would have recovered fully by now if i wasnt in the band in the very first place. but since i am, i dun have a choice wad. ohh, he gave an alternative. "then you have to stand up and walk ard after each hour or so." sounded so wrong to me. imagine me, one smacked right in the middle of the whole band standing up every single hour, go out and walk one round and sit back. a.a lorh... and besides, i am forgetful yarh. and of course, he was indirectly hinting for me to quit band larh. oh whateverr. dad said tt too, but surprisingly, mummy thought otherwise,"2more months only, will make a very big difference meh?" haha.<33>
"someone please remind me to take med before band practs. thankew(="
3:23 PM
(=
2:22 PM
=)))cant help but feel this sense of pride. though im 1day late, who cares.
congratulations cgs!! and cgssb!!! msg9.9 lorh. tchers/mrslee/students were so damn high yesterday cos class of 2006 did better than the year before!! the whole hall was filled with this sense of euphoria and victory, cos almost everyone was sooo happy lorh. congrats too, to the top scorers in spore. think it xuxin and soumya(((= and to lynette, yvonne... ... and as usual, cgssb did well too((= esp. prisgoh who was praising herself all the while with her,"i think im so smart"s.. haha. i think almost all the band snrs did fairly well, so yayness(=
and of course, to every single cgssb-hcl sec4s. distinctions(((= whoots. everyone of us got distinctions for express chinese okayy. and its okay wan, a2 is not bad afterall. since you expected a b beforehand. lalala.
was sms-ing yuen yesterday. talked quite alot. and abt tt incident, its really okayy. not taking it too hard on myself as well pris. so its perfectly fine. it will push my sectn even more. and the band will go even further. after the whole talking thing, which i thot started since... afternn?!? thanks anw, i sorta enjoyed my a1 larh(= and i conclude tt pris is getting older and weirder each day. am quite worried tt she'll collapse one day. tt used to be so hilarious-lame-funny-laughable yuen seems to have disappeared these days. aiyohh. yuanjiayi, ni zai na li???
was blog hopping just now. saw alot of cgssb-its' blogs. was really touched by the things mentioned. ersy esp. thankew very much for tt "horns were fantastic" line. though it was just a line, it really helped. heng and her so cheem posts set me thinking. and xl, tt line is for every single sec4. so yepp, thoughts and all.
9:36 AM
quintessence`o7(((=
little hiccups here and there, but we managed to pull through. cgssb, wo ai ni hen duo hen duo=PP [diana too(=] was our last concert as a cgssb-it, so we actually went over-high and making a fool of ourselves. but oh wells, we enjoyed it. so noyb.
dpd opening was better than ME's i guess. though snrs still notice tt significant out of tune Eflat, it was much better than wad i expected. thankew horns, iloveyouguys((= and so so sorry to yuen, adel, lw, horns for crying. was too stressed up and angry at myself, so yarh. am so sorry, know i scared all of you)= and adelene, thanks arh. competition of the day: who can cry first. adel vs shan. wad kind of nonsense lorh. anyway, i won=P
many many thanks to those who came down to support the band. y'all might feel disappointed, so yarh. apologies. and thanks to all the chocolate people for all the chocolates yesterday, to adilah for your "fortune chopsticks"=PP [im quite sure it did brought us lots of fortune huh=P], emi for a new ribbon to tie ard my case((=, jolynn for "frenchfries" and yuen, for tt it-was-meant-to-be-a-mouse balloon=P[it kinda shrang alr]. lalala, on the whole, a happy day.
and!! congratulations to the perc section for your emsemble(= i told you xl, it did turned out fine yarh. to all the solo-ists, brina, yuen, hanis, emi, michellina... ... we're so totally proud of you guys((((=
060207<33
1:24 PM
goodbye january. as we welcome the arrival of february, we are now taking a bigger step forward. to quintessence, to syfo7, to stepping down. no matter how reluctant we are, we have to face it. weeks passed so quickly tt we lost track of wad we've been doing and wad we've really achieved. however, we have to learn to adapt. its through all these experiences tt we progress tgt, and reach tt common goal tgt issent it?
"sunshine and love be with you, in rainy days i shall be with you.." chanced upon this song few months back when i was watching a hk drama. come one rainy day, when we only have one umbrella, im sure we can all squeeze into it and walk the way home together. because we share, because we care. being able to be one cgssb instead of 70+ cgssb-its, being able to give and take. bonded. strong electrostatic forces of attraction. sounds wrong but true. tts one thing im gg to take with me when i go.
as april is approaching really soon, i conclude tt my life will never be the same without band. without the hectic preparation for syf, without the shrieks frm your ever-crazy friends, without the together-ness when you sit in the band room, playing as one. sounds like im dying or wad, but yarh. leaving the band means to enter a new phase in our lives, back to books, back to music-less days. can actually forsee the sian faces when we "happen to see" one another during school. oh well, shant continue to feel gloomy anymore.
quintessenceo7 in three days' time((= last concert as a cgssb-it, in that familiar concert hall, wearing tt so-very-bright uniform, playing tt doughnut-looking instrument[tts how we depicted it in sec1=P] shall be so damn high on tt day(((=
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iloveyou(=